what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
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yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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