I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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