you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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