i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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