i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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