I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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