I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize