awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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