I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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