the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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