I feel like abortions should bother me more
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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