i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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