Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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