i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize