terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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