census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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