ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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