i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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