I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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