Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize