Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize