I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize