whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize