I want to stick my p in your. b.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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