Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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