i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I want a musical about memes.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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