if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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