i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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