is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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