my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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