careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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