grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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