i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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