I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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