I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize