I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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