he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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