I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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