I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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