Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize