Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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