Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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