New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize