i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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