So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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