My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize