I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dick very happy bro
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize