My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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