I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize