I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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